The Sadness Will Last Forever — A Story Of The Van Gogh Brothers
It was late January 2018, I had left my job at a restaurant I worked at as a cook for close to half a year. Before returning back home I decided to spend a week in Amsterdam. I was no stranger to what Amsterdam was all about for I have read and heard rumors. For some, it would be the nightlife scene, with it’s famous Red Light District. For others the “coffee shops” which actually are cannabis dispensaries. Besides the former reasons, I was drawn to the gorgeous architecture, all the parks and canals which added up to the atmosphere as well. Once in Amsterdam, I felt like I stepped into a new cultural experience.
I have booked a room for a week. It was a solo trip. Even now thinking back of the times I remember the receptionist at the check-in desk recommending me places to go to and where the best weed was at. However, all I wanted to do was to wander the streets. I have heard of Vincent van Gogh before and I knew there was a museum dedicated to him. Naturally, I wanted to check that out as well. More so I desired to just roam around and explore the canals and admire the buildings. Which in the end I did.
I remember that cloudy day and me walking around the city, following the map on my phone to get towards the Van Gogh museum. Here I was in the midst of the hustle and bustle of a touristy city filled to the brim. Eventually, I arrived at the museum and bought my ticket (for 20 euros). Once inside I was astonished at how big everything was, all the lights, the people. Mind you I am no art connoisseur and I have not been to many museums before. At that moment it felt like a special moment, a unique experience in itself just being there. Surrounded by the art of one of the greats. The museum with its staircases leading to more upper floors and each floor being surrounded by artwork. Groups of students with translators and guides would stop at each painting and then the guide would proceed to tell the story behind that piece of art or another. I’d read what the plaque said and look for awhile. Scanning the walls in a nonchalant manner I would then move to the next painting.
There were so many artworks all around me. Works created by an artist I knew little about but have heard of nevertheless. As I was learning a bit about Vincent van Gogh’s life I found out that he had a younger brother named Theo . Theo was the one that pushed his older brother into creating art and financed his lifestyle. There was so much more to their story. Now 2 years later I accidentally stumbled on a book that details the lives of the two brothers. “Vincent and Theo: The Van Gogh Brothers” by Deborah Heiligman. A book that I found to be an insightful exploration of the brotherly support the two have shared during their lifetime.
Two Brothers With One Goal
Vincent van Gogh is the older brother. Theo is the younger one. But both share an unbreakable bond. A commitment to leave behind Vincent’s legacy. Theo is determined to make people know about Vincent’s work no matter the cost. Thus even if he is 4 years younger than Vincent, Theo has been supporting Vincent financially. Offering periodic payments for paint, pencils and pens, ink, canvases, paper, clothing, food, and even rent.
At times Vincent feels that Theo has too much pressure on him to support him and their family. He often feels like he is a burden by constantly asking for support, but Theo is unabated. They will make it work. As long as each is committed to the path they have chosen.
Vincent will paint. Theo — will deal with the business side of things, and sell Vincent’s art.
“Copying nature absolutely isn’t the ideal”
Vincent was a wanderer at heart. He loved to discover new places and spent lots of time in the midst of nature. He would walk miles upon miles with rain pouring down. He would sleep outside, and be in the middle of nature. That is where he drew his inspiration from — nature itself. Capturing landscapes, fields, flowers.
Vincent wrote to Theo when he finally found his way to being a painter.
“But knowing nature in such a way that what one does is fresh and true — that’s what many now lack.… You will say, but everyone has surely seen landscapes and figures from childhood.… Question: did everyone who saw them — heath, grassland, fields, woods — also love them, and the snow and the rain and the storm?”
The Commitment To Carry Each Other’s Parcel
It’s 1872 Vincent and Theo are on a walk towards a nearby countryside. Vincent is nineteen, Theo is fifteen.
The brothers arrive at a polder windmill in Rijswijk just as the rain stops. They see a sign in the window of the mill: milk for sale, one cent a glass, and also fried eels. Vincent and Theo each buy a glass of milk. No eels. They drink their milk and make a pledge to each other. They promise to always be close, to keep the bond between them strong and intimate. They always will walk together. They will be more than brothers, more than friends. They will be companions in the search for meaning in life and meaning in art. Together they will achieve lives filled with a purpose. And they will, when needed, carry each other’s parcels. When Theo returns home, he will write Vincent a thank-you note for the visit. Vincent will write back to say how much he misses his brother.
Years later they will recall their walk as a beginning of a relationship that sealed their fates together. They become one. The picture above titled “Laakmolen” is a depiction of that special moment in the brothers' lives.
“It was strange for me not to find you when I came home in the afternoon.” — Vincent to Theo
Vincent’s Left Ear
December 23–24, 1888, Arles, France.
Vincent and his painter friend Gauguin had been drinking and arguing about art. Gauguin is reportedly the only eyewitness of what happened that night. There is an argument. Gauguin storms out of the house and Vincent follows him with a razor in his hand. Seeing the razor Gauguin runs away and lets him be.
Later in the night Vincent appears at a brothel and asks for Rachel, his favorite prostitute. He hands her a wrapped piece of cloth.
“Keep this object carefully,” he tells her and leaves.
Wrapped in the cloth is Vincent’s left ear.
The next morning, Gauguin explains to the police what had happened. Vincent is very ill and is hospitalized. Since the incident, Vincent will spend lots of time under the care of doctors, but he will keep painting nevertheless. In the meantime he would reportedly attempt to kill himself at least twice, eating paint.
Last Days — Last Words
On 27 July 1890, aged 37, Van Gogh shot himself in the chest with a 7mm Lefaucheux revolver.
Theo learns that Vincent has shot himself.
Vincent said he had shot himself in a wheat field where he was painting. The police do not have a gun or the painting equipment from that day. None of that is found. Understandably this might raise some questions. Is there foul play involved? Is Vincent covering up for someone? Why would he shoot himself in the body if he indeed wanted to die?
Theo believes his brother and spends the last moments by his side. Vincent’s condition worsens. He has pain, trouble breathing. Theo has been sitting with him for hours. As the night goes on, he finds it harder to breathe.
Theo would later tell in a letter to his sister Elizabeth of Vincent’s final moments.
“When I sat at his bedside and said that we would try to get him better and that we hoped that he would then be spared this kind of despair, he said, “La tristesse durera toujours” [The sadness will last forever]. I understood what he wanted to say with those words.”
A few moments later he felt suffocated and within one minute he closed his eyes. A great rest came over him from which he did not come to life again.
Vincent did not live to see how admired his art would become. More so how recognized worldwide his name would be. Their commitment to one another did not end in vain. The dedication the brothers poured into their work was not left unnoticed. Theo had high hopes that the world would know of Vincent’s genius, that dream was not lost.
Their legacy will forever live on.
Their story will not be forgotten.
